Monday, March 14, 2016

A Kanye-designed LA Clipper mascot is an idea whose time has come

When the Los Angeles Clippers introduced their new mascot, Chuck the Condor, a couple of weeks back, the immediate response was, shall we say, uncharitable, with many observers taking a look at the Fruit Loops of the Clips' labors and thinking, "Pffffft, I could probably do a better job than that." On that score, armchair designers of the world, you've apparently got quite a bit in common with one Kanye West.

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Mr. West paused in the midst of a now customary burst of 140-character creative-process-avoidance on Sunday afternoon, taking a brief break from discussing the degree to which he cares about things and the belief that (despite all evidence to the contrary) human beings can create a utopia to comment on Chuck's steez, which he must have come across during Sunday's ABC matinee meeting between the Clippers and Cleveland Cavaliers:

One neat thing about being one of the most famous people in the world: you don't have to @ somebody to get their attention. Besides, Clippers owner Steve Ballmer didn't get to be the kind of high-roller who could drop $2 billion on an NBA franchise by passing up opportunities to get his brands some shine:

I don't know, man. I mean, Clippers games are fun and all — I especially like when the insane red-faced dude dunks off trampolines — but lunch is the best. A little half-sandy and a side of hot soup to get you through those mid-day blues? C'mon, man. How can you beat that?

Whatever the venue and time-appropriate meal, West responded Monday by noting how serious he was:

.... Which, y'know, probably won't make Chuck happy, since he seems to like both his extreme-skateboarder/cartoon-vulture vibe and making "The Life of Pablo"-era Kanye goofs.

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While we await further word about this hotly anticipated Kanye x Ballmer collabo could entail, we can dare to dream about what a Yeezy-designed mascot might look like:

A non-artist's rendering.

Then again, as much as we might hope that Kanye brings his "The Matrix" x 31st-century exercise bodystocking sensibility to the sideline, it's important to remember that we must give Kanye the space to create as he sees fit.

OK, OK, our hands are off the paintbrush, jeez. Just a heads up, though: if you're thinking about changing the bird's kicks to Yeezys, that's probably going to be a non-starter unless you can convince Adidas to pony up 20,000 pairs to give away at Staples Center. Then again, if that's what it takes to get you the gig, we're sure you'll do it; I mean, it's entirely in keeping with the other Sunday epiphany you had right before realizing you wanted to get back into the mascot game.

I eagerly await the revelation of how Kanye's immeasurable heart and commitment to excellence manifests itself in a forward-thinking mascot that resonates with the young fans Ballmer wants to reach. Maybe the helmet will bring back some "Touch the Sky"-era inspiration; maybe the wings will send him all the way back to his performing-"Jesus Walks"-at-the-Grammys days; maybe he'll decide to just say screw it and try to convince Ballmer to have Desiigner and Kacy Hill come out a couple of times a night with a giant cannon to fire large sweaters into the upper decks. Anything can happen, after all; if Yeezus wills it, it is no god dream.

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Dan Devine is an editor for Ball Don't Lie on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at devine@yahoo-inc.com or follow him on Twitter!

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